The Rise of The SheeFu

If I were to pick an alter ego or a closet super hero identity, I would name myself SheeFu.  Or perhaps THE SheeFu.  The “the” at the beginning gives it a little extra oomph.  Before I married James Cheng I was simply Kristin.  No longer.  In addition to being James’ wife ("Tai Tai" - such a weak sounding word) I have been, for the last ten years a daughter-in-law to Asian in-laws, thus also becoming The SheeFu. 

For years I didn’t really embrace my identity as The SheeFu.  I only knew that when I heard it at the dinner table in sing-songy Mandarin, I was being talked about.  I would prickle on the inside, grumbling in my heart, “You know, I am NOT just your daughter-in-law.  I HAVE a name.  I am a PERSON - not just the WIFE of your SON.”  But I suppose being James’ wife was the defining characteristic of me to them.  So, The SheeFu I remained.  This SheeFu wasn’t any match for Dynasties of Chinese tradition that requires very specific generational and positional titles for each gender of each side of the family.  Everybody gotta know exactly WHO you are to them.  Historically, position determines worth. 

Over the past ten years I have been The SheeFu, I have learned to navigate my Chinese side of the family quite well.  I have learned that I am pretty good at “pie ma pee” (stroking the donkey’s butt) read: appeasing or manipulating one in authority over you in order to work things in your general direction, or brown nosing, but with a clever strength or shrewdness on your side.  I finally gave in my five to seven year strike of refusing to call my father-in-law “Dad” (I clearly informed him about a week after we got married that I do in fact already HAVE a very nice father, and do not need another.  It did not go over very well, so I stubbornly dug in and avoided referring to him as anything at all for about half a decade.)  Finally, I settled for “Baba” instead which sounds less like “Dad” to me and more like the title of some tribal witch doctor, or Asian Father Christmas.  Perhaps I could get away with calling him the Big Kahuna instead.  Anyways, I have settled into this idea of being a sheefu, and now envision it instead of a crunchy archaic title given to thousands of generations of Asian daughter-in-laws, to be my personal identity written with a capital “S”, and the name of a super tough, super smart, super daring, super chic, super hero.  And my super suit would be teal and purple.  To my knowledge teal and purple are still up for grabs in the super hero arena.  Thus the evolution and rise of The SheeFu in my mind.

Anyways.  My role as super hero SheeFu has recently resulted in my being temporarily relocated to Taipei Taiwan.  After my mother-in-law’s recent diagnosis of myelodysplastic syndrome that converted quite quickly to full blown Acute Myeloid Leukemia, I realized just how much I love being her sheefu.  My affection for Roland and Angie has in fact grown into something real and deep apart from me trying to work it – or just make it work - for the sake of my husband and the relationship of my kids with their grandparents who are generally on the other side of the world from where I normally reside.  By His grace, God has grown this in my heart slowly over time.  I truly love them and have embraced my role as The SheeFu. 

As a result of the diagnosis in mid-July The SheeFu, in collaboration with her partner GomPaullo (Cantonese for “The Golden Pineapple” – as in precious firstborn son James Jarray Cheng – his super suit would not be NEARLY as cool as mine and DEFINITELY not purple and teal), kicked their super powers into high gear resulting in five new passports, packing up three kids under five, lesson plans and homeschooling gear for two months for the Kindergartner and whatever other things they thought might be useful for entertaining the offspring in an apartment during the rainy season into no less than seven checked bags and five large carry-ons and caught the first available flight to Formosa after the visas came through.  The Cheng Five arrived in Taipei Taiwan on the 10th of September and settled in for two months to be with Roland and Angie, a.k.a Mama and Baba.  And here is where our story begins…